Manta Rays...

...are awesome!

Well it was worth a shot...

Ha!
After meeting with my advisor, my four class + thesis idea was promptly shot down. I mean, she said, extremely hesitantly, that she would sign off on it if i really really pushed it. But she was pretty against it and said that it would be highly unadvisable with my thesis as well as my seminar and orgo. I guess I won't be taking Japanese History after all. On the one hand I'm kinda upset about it, but on the other I was just kind of glad that she gave it to me straight and, well, advised me. And now that I'm getting back into lab (I got in there at 9 this morning to go in and i will be spending all day tomorrow starting at 8:30 am in there again except for 1.5 hrs in class), I think she may be right.

In other news, i am seriously suffering the sleep department. I already wrote about sunday night/mon morning, and then i only slept 4-5 hrs or so last night again for reasons that really could've been prevented by my being more organized and less of a lazy bum. I've been totally out of it today. I ran into my German prof this morning while walking from lab, and of course she wanted to know all about Heidelberg and studying abroad, but my complete brain-deadness resulted in a major regression of all my German skills. It was pretty embarrassing. I plan on going to Kaffeeklatsch next week and apologizing for it.

Back to school

I've had exactly5 days of classes so far, and I've already had to stay up til 6 AM one night/morning (namely last night/this morning) doing work. I suppose that's a good sign of things to come. It really was my fault though, for leaving way way way too much reading off and, in turn, a short paper on those readings. No more of that for me, at least 2 articles a day for my seminar so I don't go crazy. To be honest I don't think i've ever pulled such a long night ever in college o_O Way to go me.

So I'm still all mixed up about what classes I'm taking this semester. I'm supposed to only take 3 classes since I'm doing a thesis. But I can't bring myself to only take three classes because that would mean I'd only be able to take classes that I have to take to finish up major requirements and neurosci stuff. There're sooo many different classes that I haven't taken and so many different fields of study I've always been interested in but never had the time to take a class in. I figure this is my last shot, so I should just hunker down and add an additional class right? The prof of the 4th class I'm contemplating is willing to let me take the class pass/fail, which I guess would help relieve the pressure but only to an extent, since I know I would never let myself do C-level work if I could help it. It's too bad prof's here will hardly ever let you audit a class. Fooey. Well Im meeting with my advisor tomorrow, maybe she'll have something to say. Or maybe I'll just feel terribly guilty the whole time because I haven't talked to her or been in lab for the past week.

In other news I went to see meine Schwester this weekend in NY. It was a nice little trip home even if I spent less than 24 hrs there. Got me some delicious seafood (mmm..) and beef noodles (*droool). My flute went in for repairs and the guy quoted me at least $350 for a tune-up and repairs. Eek. Well it certainly needed some work, that thing hasn't gotten a COA since i bought it, excepting the one time i trusted my flute teacher to take it somewhere and they ended up doign a shit job of it. I can't wait to see how it plays when I get it back.

Lab Rat

So i knew the first part of this past week would be horrible. Since I had to test, perfuse and extract the brains of 6 rats a day as well as finish the injection cycles of 12 other rat and everything needed to be done on a strict time course, i had to be in the lab from 8:30 am - 4 pm without so much as 10 minutes to sit down and take a break. However, I figured I would at least have it easy the second half of the week since all I had to do is slice the brains i extracted earlier this week. But no, i ended up being in the lab til 6 pm the first day and about 5:30 the days after that. Boo. i also couldn't find my charger to the iPod and noone has been in lab all week long so I sat for hours in the lab alone slicing brains in complete silence. And slicing brains is pretty boring stuff. But on the plus side, half my lab work is done for my thesis! Granted I have yet to stain my slices, count c-Fos and code all the behavioral tapes. But all in good time.

So now that crazy week at the lab is over, classes start up tomorrow. Man, the late end of the semester in Germany and then jumping right into research for my thesis has pretty much cancelled out whatever short amount of summer I would have had. For the first time, I'm not excited for classes to start at amherst. I just don't feel ready at all. Part of it is that i want time to relax and part of it is me feeling like I can't write as well (in English) or do as well in classes here anymore now that i've had that semester in Germany. Of course classes in Germany involved alot of work, but there was usually only one exam or term paper to actually be handed in and graded, most classes were pretty large and you werent graded at all on participation (since it was also pretty non-existent for the most part) and it was all in German. I mean, I didn't think it would make that big of a difference, but while trying to write my thesis overview I realized it is taking me considerably more effort than before to write formally. Then I re-read what I wrote, and it's usually convoluted and unclear. Blech. I hope I can shake this off pretty soon.

I feel like a burn-out may be inevitable this year with the thesis and the lack of a decent break between semesters. Can tiffany finally get herself organized and focus this year? I suppose now's a good a time as any. However I always make myself promise that i will before every semester and it never works.